I haven't been blogging.

...and I feel guilty about it. ha. I have a few things I could talk about, and I'll probably get to them eventually. I read the His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman... atheist who claims the books are about killing God. When I'm in the mood, I'll probably write a review of my personal thoughts on that. I could write about how I believe the church is failing miserably in their approach to sex and purity. It's past my bedtime though, so I'll wait until I have a bit more passion in me until I write about that. There's also the whole Obama's ProLife legistlation deal... but, again, I'm lacking in passion. 

I guess if I were to write what I felt right now, I would write about how aware of my failings I am. I'm aware of how I hurt the people that I love by closing down and always remaining silent. I feel a sense of failure when it comes to relationships and that includes my relationship with God. I want to be there for people, but I don't know how. I'm a social mess. I feel alone. And when all of that forces its weight down on me, I have to speak Truth. I have to understand that God's love isn't conditional on whether I have it all together or not. The beauty of grace is that my brokenness is the place where I allow God to dwell. Broken and beautiful. Even when there are moments, like now, where I don't feel it or don't understand it... it's the Truth.... and I wouldn't be honest with myself if I said anything different. In chapel service yesterday, the musician prayed and I remember her saying, "God, there is not one mistake in the room." Praise him, because that is the beautiful, beautiful truth.