I’m slowly realizing what extreme limitations I’ve subconsciously put on my life. I’ve had a spiritual revival, in a sense, this past week and a half. For most of the semester I’ve felt really trapped. I haven’t had anything to inspire my passion, and I couldn’t “fix” it. I felt crushed by a spiritual and life-filling boredom. Global Impact week sort of sparked something again. I was reminded of my passions, the injustices that I want to work towards overcoming, and my ability to push my energies into that end. Other stuff has happened, and I just feel more open to the Holy Spirit than I have in a LONG time. I’ve felt a joy and a peace that doesn’t disappear when I think about possible hardship and persecution in my future. Not to say my fear is gone, but I have a stillness within my chest that settles there without sacrificing the drive I have to push forward in pursuit. I was sitting in the lounge of my dorm, studying for my Marketing exam this morning, and I just felt … Holy... I don’t know how to explain it, really. But I felt like that was the state of mind I was supposed to be in as a Christian. I don’t know. Ha. My words are failing me, which is hard for me. I’m just realizing that I have lived a very “limited” life. I’ve put restrictions on who I can be, what I can feel, and what I can do. I am extravagantly loved (which is so hard for me to grasp). I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (have I ever REALLY believed this?). I am glorified (me?).
I am unworthy.
I am unworthy.
But help me realize and live in your power, Christ.
Forgive me for limiting you in the past and for all the times I will continue to do it in the future.
“Lord, I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.”
