In Philosophy lately we’ve been talking about free will and choice and trying to answer the question “Who Controls My Life?” I had to post on a discussion board answering that question, and here was my response:
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The ultimate answer to “who controls my life” is me. I do. However, that answer is simple and specifically vague (oxymoron intended). It has a lot to do with definition. Who am I? Do I stand alone when I describe myself, or do the people who have guided and helped influence me in my life count as components of “me”? Do my parents share in the responsibility of who I am because they helped shape my early years where my choices were simply gut reactions to my environment?
Then there is the spiritual component. Does God control my life? I don’t believe He does. I strongly believe that we dwell in the ability to choose because God gave us the free will do to so. He’s relinquished control of my life. As Christians, we seek to put that control back in God’s hands by following His commands and letting the Spirit guide us in the decision process. But I choose obedience or not. There are things that happen outside of my control, like natural disasters, which is where I have to define “life” in the question “who controls my life?” Does “life” mean the breath inside of me, and therefore my actions, thoughts, and being fall into that category? Or is life the entire spectrum of my environment and world?
This question of “who controls my life” has a lot of layers and perspectives and the complexity of humanity would make it foolish to ignore those many facets. If control means the ability to choose, if life means my internal being and external actions, and if I am simply a product without factoring in the components of the equation before the equals sign… then, I am without a doubt in complete control of my life. I believe it’s slightly more complicated than that, but I still take full responsibility for who I am and what I do.
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So. Is God in control of the world? How do we address women who were murdered by their mentally ill husbands or children being sold as sex slaves or car accidents where drunk drivers kill teenagers? It’s a fine line to walk, I think… as is almost everything. God gave us free will: the ability to choose good or evil, right from wrong, obedience or disobedience. One thing I’ve learned however from this study of free will in Philosophy is that our choices are not so isolated as we would like to think. The philosopher Epictetus isolates our lives into two categories: things we can control and things we can’t. He says we should focus on the things we can control. However, that creates a sort of isolation that our choices don’t affect others. Granted, they cannot control others, but we like to forget any responsibility for the fact that our attitudes, actions, and choices CAN and DO exert influence, and they have consequences that can extend to those around us. A murderer chooses to murder, but that choice is not isolated to just him. Others suffer.
I believe God has ultimate control. If He didn’t, what kind of god would he be? But just as a parent watches their children make bad choices in the hopes that they learn from them, our Father steps back. He gave us the ability to love, real love, community-like-the-Trinity Love. And with that kind of freedom comes the potential for hurt, brokenness, and evil. Does God make bad things happen? I say no. Does God “let” things happen?… if he stepped in every time something bad was going to happen, then our free will sort-of disappears, right? Does God make good and restore what is bad and broken and dirty? Yes, of course. He is the healer. So, saying God is not in control could be correct if you mean that God has chosen to let us Love by letting our choices have consequences, even if those consequences are negative and affect those around us.
In Jr. High, on the anniversary of 9/11, we were asked to draw a depiction of the event and how it affected the world. I drew the world, with people holding hands around it to symbolize the unity that emerged. I drew tears coming down from heaven, and I drew a satan figure really big, directing planes towards the towers that rose up from the globe. We had to present our drawings. My teacher, in a public school class, looked at me with questioning eyes and asked, “So, you don’t believe God caused this to happen?” I said no, I believed God was very sad that people were hurt. It was people and evil that caused it to happen, but that God made things good to rise from the ashes. I look back and am intrigued by my Jr. High philosophical answer, but I also remember the questioning of my teacher, who was wrestling with these questions of God’s control and goodness and was desperately looking for an answer, even if it possibly could come from a quiet, frizzy redheaded 7th grader.
It might be easy to write now, but when something bad happens to us, it’s hard to see. But it makes me wonder, how great is this Love that God wants for us to experience if all of this is worth it? He was willing to give us free will, willing to die to redeem that abuse of free will, and willing to feel hurt and see his creation destroy each other? This Love has to be way more than hardcore. I can't even fathom how awesome it must be, because this apparently is all worth it. Insane, right?
**Responses, anyone??
