I couldn't believe I'd decided to go. I was terrified. Some introverted girl walking around St. Louis praying for random people didn't seem fitting, but that was the point. I HAD to do this. I needed something to inspire my boldness. Before I left, I was sitting on the futon in my dorm room, scared. So, I went to my Bible, looking for something to encourage me. And I came to Daniel 10:
"A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. He said, 'Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.' And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling. Then he continued, 'Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them'... Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. 'Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed. Peace! Be strong now; be strong.'"
Well, if that wasn't just perfect for that moment, eh? I knew this was a chance for me to learn more about faith. I was pretty skeptical at first. I didn't want to believe that too much would happen. I didn't want to be disappointed. I do that every time. So, I tried to let that go. As the man says to Jesus in Mark 9:24, "I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!"
We met in the church parking lot. There were only three of us. It was called a "treasure hunt." We prayed before we left, and we separated for a while and were supposed to write down random attributes (like names, clothing, places, or random symbols) that came to our head that we believed God might be speaking to us. It was hard. How did I know what was from God and what was from my own head?
So we went. Jeremy had the arch on his list of places. Brian had park bench. I had under a tree. So we went to the park under the Arch. I had smoking on my list. I assumed it would be someone smoking a cigarette, but out in front of us under the arch was smoke rising out of one of the underground vent things, so we headed towards that. Jeremy had yellow sweater on his list, and low and behold, to our right there is a lady sitting under a tree in a yellow sweater. Check that out. She had a friend walk up, so we went to talk to both of them. They were out in the park getting videos of people speaking about environmental concerns. So, we each did that, talked to them about what they were doing, signed up for their email list, and just as they were wrapping up we said, "Well, we're actually here looking for people as well. We're doing a treasure hunt, and we think you match a description on our list. We were wondering if we could pray for you for anything?" Mary, the yellow-sweater-lady said, "Actually, not really, thankfully. Life's pretty good." But her friend said, "Well, I'm actually agnostic, but I guess it couldn't hurt. My dad needs help recovering. He's having a hard time with it." She didn't really give us much details, but it was cool she shared that much. We asked her what her name was, "Mandy," she said. Oh man, it took so much not to start grinning like a lunatic in that moment. Mandy was the name I had written down on my list.
Smoke. Under a tree. Yellow Sweater. Mandy.
Cool stuff like that happened all day. There was a guy sitting on a park bench that we prayed for. He was in a halfway house and was getting released Monday and wanted prayer because he was moving to Springfield, Missouri on monday. Brian had park bench. I had written down that we'd meet someone who wanted prayer about moving.
We met Anthony on First Street (Jeremy's list), on a bench (Brian's list), under a no-parking sign (my list). He was homeless, but he was trying. We talked to him, bought him lunch, he hugged me and told the boys they should keep me around cuz I was pretty. ;) He said no one stops to talk to him, so he was sorry that he talked to us for so long. Who knew that just treating someone like a human being could be so meaningful.
We met a few Christians too, which was neat. We met a guy with six kids who was planting a church in Alabama (sevenspringschurch.net). They needed a lot of money to meet their financial needs and support their head pastor full time. We met a girl from Indiana who was on a college outreach retreat who asked us to pray that God would continue moving in the retreat they were a part of.
I'm glad I went. I want to do it again. God taught me. I grew.
****
Also, this morning in Church a missionary from India came and spoke about what it means to stand in hardship and persecution as a Christian. He told us stories and showed us horrible videos about the persecution happening where he is. And it wasn't one of those phony things. These were real people. He knew their names. I saw their faces in the pictures. These people have to deal with a totally different reality than I do everyday. But it doesn't mean they shouldn't be part of my reality. These people are so strong in their faith. I've heard people talk about this sort of stuff before, but this hit me differently. "This is faith," God whispered. Scary. I might face persecution someday.
God, you are transforming me now. Build me, renew me. I want to reach the point where I say, "God, I will follow you," and mean it without any hesitation or reservation.
Faith. It's what God's been teaching me lately.
